I haven't posted anything in 37 weeks. According to LJ. But today is the most epically failing day of my entire life. So I'm going to post it.

Today is the day my knee gave out.

( Introducing: The cactus )

SUNY schools suck. Thanks for letting me know the month before school starts that you're no longer approving my internship site and good luck finding another one this late! Thanks Suffolk. Needed the added stress. ;)

I'm pretty sure I got blown off and Kevin just reminded me I wanted chinese food and it's too late to get some. ;)

Hmmm!

If you make plans to make plans and you call the person and they don't call you back? Does that mean you got stood up? ;)

And I'm raising baby birds again! It's sparrows this time which isn't my first choice (the wild is not exactly lacking in the little buggers) as far as wild birds are concerned, but they're really freaking cute. First time in three years, so wish me luck! :) Pictures to come!

Still alive. I've sort of been neglecting this thing. Life is up and down but mostly up lately. ;)

My mom had surgery on her throat on May 28th. They removed the lump on her vocal cord. It was basically just a cyst of some sort and filled with fluid, blood, etc... It got sent off for biopsy and wooo, no cancer. :) She's recuperated and in one piece.

I'd... give you guys more but I'm tired. ;)

This is from March 2005, stolen from the jaeni journal when it used to be my personal one. It's funny, if kind of long.

Here you see a young Kelly Herzog involved in totally omgwtfness. ;)

So. Today a opossum tried to eat my face off. Okay, it was a little less dramatic than that. But you're hooked now, right?

Afterschool, Valeri, Laura and I were in Valeri's car, going to 7-11. Driving down my street, we pass this enclosed fenced in area that's across from the sump. I look out the window and see... a opossum impaled on a fence? Valeri turns the car around and we pull up to it again.

Many questions were asked: Is it dead ? Does it have rabies? Is it impaled on the fence? How did it get up there? Valeri, do you have a camera?

The solution to this of course is to call my mom up. We call her and she tells me to poke it with a stick. Poke. It. With. A. Stick. That it's probably just stuck up there and doesn't know how to get down. So I'm like: Fine. I'll poke it with a stick.

Laura and I get out of the car, because we're brave (note: sarcasm) and Valeri hid inside and watched us. Laura spots the stick we're going to use, as she's going to go get it, I pause and stare at this thing. I'm about three feet away, when it suddenly stands up and begins to snarl at me from its spot on the fence where it is apparently not impaled and not dead. I made a horrified noise, because it was damn scary. Laura is behind me, screaming. The oppossum is now getting ready to fly off the fence and eat me. We both run back into the car.

This is where we're supposed to make our speedy get away. Laura is shouting: GOGOGOGOGO!!! WHY ARE WE STILL HERE?!?! ... Why? Because Valeri is in a fit of laughter at our misfortune and terror, and at the fact that both of us now have premature grey hair.

( Laura's side of the Story )

You'd think that was the end right? We'd drive off and that would be it? No. There's more to this story. We did in fact drive off and that was the last the three of us saw of the opossum. Not the same for my mom though!

She came rushing to the rescue only minutes after we left the scene because she was sure I'd poked the opossum and gotten bitten and had rabies.

When she gets there she finds that the poor creature is surrounded by: Three cop cars, an ambulance and three cops all with their guns drawn.

She comes running across the street with a box and told them to freeze. They were like: What are you doing here? And she points at our furry friend and says: I'm here for /him/.

They tell my mom that they're going to shoot the opossum because he's so clearly suffering. Meanwhile he's getting ready to launch off the fence again and eat someone. She tells them that he's got good color, forget /shooting/ him and that she'll be taking him to the animal hospital. XD They whip out the rabies poles and catch the tree next to the animal pretty good, but my mom has to rip away the branches to help them out. They finally got him into the box and she took him to Greco's.

He checked out clean, nothing wrong with him other than some scrapes and an eye infection. She said he had perfect teeth so he must have been a young guy too. Then they let him go.

( Conversations with Laura about my mom )


( A picture of the opossum )

Who's the crazier one?


( AIM )

I'm stuck here all day again. I don't have class until 2. I guess I should go study, I have some sort of a quiz in vet practice again. On... who knows what?

I dyed my hair red last night. I'm pretty much convinced that it turned out terrible. On the one hand, that sucks. On the other? It's only temporary color, and it should wash out fairly soon. So it's not exactly a big deal. I am sort of proud of myself. I don't really feel disappointed? And I don't feel OMG MY HAIR LOOKS HORRIBLE. I'm not all nervous about it. Occasionally I do think "God. This hair looks bad." as I wander around but that's really about it.

I'm really more concerned with how hungry I am.

And how bored I am.

I guess I'm going to go eat now. Or something. ;)

I'm going to spend hours in the cafeteria now, I do have my phone on me. It is charged. If someone (PSST GRETA) wants to call me so I can *facepalm* over the phone about something I saw on my monitor when I got up at 7am today. They can. XD

I have one hour until I have to be over at Pamonack. Poomaneick. Pamasomething to do yet another part of the impromed project for vet tec management. Lets say that takes me an hour? I still have from twelve until two. I'm not going to drive back to Centereach, waste the gas and then drive back to Brentwood again. So instead I'm going to wander around campus for hours until I have clinical physiology.

This blows, I hate wednesdays. Not to mention I think I'm going to be sleepy the entire time through clinical physiology and then I have that horrible vet management class. Last week I had Legends loaded up, which I played everytime he launched into yet another story that had NOTHING TO DO with what we were learning about. Which we won't be tested on. Which has no relevence. And which was occuring just about every five minutes. Needless to say I completed an entire dungeon while I was hoping and praying for anything to make that class end.

I also got down a lot of notes. So I guess that makes me multi-tasker extradonaire. Is that how you spell that? Crap, I really can't spell today.

I still can't get my laptop to jive with the wireless network. I tried re-registering today and hopefully that'll do the trick. But who knows, right? It's not like it's a really complicated process, but somehow I can't seem to make it work.

I don't know if I should go to the library after this thing at eleven, or crash in the cafeteria. Maybe I'll study. Or eat. Or something. The cafeteria might be better, because I could eat /and/ study. But I probably won't because instead of studying my work I end up doing character studies of the people in room.

Like there's this one guy, he's sort of on the small side. He has super slicked back hair, an oversized leather jacket and gangster-y pants. He is always in there. Always. Like, no matter what time or day I go? That guy is in there. Talking with his homies. Flirting with girls. Buying random bits of food and going on and on loudly about how he cut class and how 'There ain't no fucking way they can make me go'


.............

First of all, stop wearing oversized leather jackets. Second, lose the crazy slicked back hair and third, get some pants that fit. Stop cursing like a freaking pirate and dude, GO TO CLASS. You pay to be here, this isn't high school. I don't get how this mentality works. You /pay/ money to be here and then /don't/ go to class because you're... rebelling? Wtf? You think that's going to attract you a decent girlfriend?

Though maybe that's not what he's interested in. Because we live in a society where most people don't care about their partner beyond initial physical attraction. Who cares about their credit? Who cares about whether they can handle their money? Who cares whether they have an education? A or even a job? Who cares whether they have class, some sort of sense of style, self, and god knows how many other little things that make up a well rounded person? The answer? Not a lot people, unfortunately.

And I'm pretty much convinced that's what leads to the significant amount of young people who end up divorcing. Everyone likes the idea of romantic love, and love triumphs over all. And maybe it can. But it can't if you're the responsible one and your partner is a total putz. The love isn't going to be dinner in your stomach.


Lets not even get into trust, cheating and all the lies people tell the people they supposedly love. I have a laundry list of complaints there. XD

This is getting to be way too long and thoughtful.

Moving on.

( Update on my Mom )

( My dad )

I don't know how much more of this computer lap I can take. I need to get out of here. If anyone needs me I'll be sitting in the cafeteria, attempting to study and eating. And probably falling asleep in place. I'll be the disheveled, tired looking girl still wearing PJs.

Bye.

And oh yeah, I don't get out of this place until five. I have to do laundry. And online things. And... And... Yeah.

...

And I'm getting new glasses in three days!

Friday at about 1:30 in the morning my dad came to my room and told me that we were leaving, because we had to take my mom to the emergency room. I was in the middle of another agonizing conversations with Mat. I tell him 'I'm leaving. My mom has to go to the hospital, bye.' - I'd elaborate on what he said in response, but that would just further enrage me on that subject.

We get to the hospital, wait, wait. Finally get into the ER so that the guy will actually look at her. The ER doctor is a douchebag, to say the least. He doesn't think that there's anything wrong with the fact that my mom can't swallow correctly. Can't drink water, can't drink the PAIN MEDICATION that he gave her. He just hands over the discharge papers and is like 'kthanxforvisitingbye'.

I'm stressed about my mom, I am stressed about my situation with Mat. This type of apathetic atttidue from someone who's supposed to care about people and help them? Sets me off. To people on here who aren't personally familiar with me in real life? I do not just run around screaming at people I don't know. I have to be beyond upset and beyond frustrated to lose my temper like I did that night. I yell at the guy, I yell at the nurse. The doctor storms off and the nurse follows him. She returns with further instructions and an 80 year old hospital security guard. My mom is disscharged and we go home.

We arrive back at around 3:30am, 4:00am. I send Mat a message about what happened. I go to sleep. I wake up at 7:00am. Get into my car and drive to class. After my classes end I go over to Mat's and drop off his tax papers. He acts like we're probably going to be okay. I leave, feeling all optimistic and head home.

While I'm getting ready to get onto the service road of the LIE, the guy in the car next to me makes me roll my window down. He informs me that my back, passenger tire is SUPER low. I say thanks and pull into the mobil station down the road. My tire is in fact, SUPER low. I have never used an airpump machine in my life. I read the instructions, I figure out usage. I inflate my tire back up without exploding it. I drive home.

I get back into the house and tell Greta all about what happened after we got off the phone last night. Then I end up collasping on the bed in a heap. I wake up 20 minutes before work, put the volume back up on my phone, set the alarm and fall asleep again. Three minutes into that I get a text message from my dad "Call me". I think he's just responding to when I called him earlier, while I was at the gas station and trying to figure the pump out. I again, fall asleep. I wake up when the alarm goes off seven minutes later.

This time I call my dad. He tells me that he's in the emergency room with my mom again. They had gone to the doctors at 8:00 am who had immediately gotten them an appointment with an ENT. The ENT looked down there with a nasal scope (???) and set her vocal cords and throat area in general were so swollen that they were afraid it was gone to swell shut and risk her breathing airways. Basically, that it might swell up to the point where she would die. So they were going to take her in the emergency room and put a tube through her trachea in order to establish a breathing passage.

I jump up out of bed. Of course, tell Greta what happened. And immediately inform that I will kill the ER doctor if I see him while I'm there.

I put on my shoes, while doing that inform work that I will NOT be coming in. They understand, hurry me off the phone and I in turn, hurry off to my car. As I'm running to the car I'm texting Mat to tell him what's going on. And 'God help that doctor if I see him again'.

Seriously. Anyone would feel the rage I felt if they realized their mom could have fucking died in the night because that guy was just like "Whatever!" And sent her home. You know? Though I'm sure Mat saw it as further sign of the dementia he's convinced himself I have.

Okay. My writing and concentration skills are totally escaping me. This rest might come out awkward. I got a lot of sleep when we finally got home last night but I still feel exhausted. I obviously did not play pool with Dana last night either. I still need to call her and tell her what happened.

Anyway.

I drive like a maniac through Centereach and then through Smithtown all the way up until I get to St. Catherine's hospital. I go into the ER, they tell me what bed she's in. Surprise! No one is there. I stare at the girl at the desk, looking like I'm ready to just burst into tears. And I seriously am. She tells me that they must have just taken her into the OR. She brings me down there, opens the door to the OR lobby. Look! There's my dad! I just missed my mom by two minutes.

So then we wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

...

...
...
....
.....
......


And wait some more. Then my aunt shows up, she's a nurse in the ER. When her friend saw my mom and dad come in she called her. So now we do some more waiting! Finally after fourteen years, the surgeon comes out. He tells that the swelling was really, really bad. But she's doing well. That she's very anxious and now they're sending her into the recovery unit. He's hoping that it's just a really bad infection and he's thinking that it's most likely not a tumor.

Thank god, something good at least. Not a tumor. I almost typed rumor.

I apologize, I'm sure this thing is FULL with typos and misspellings.

Anyway, he leaves and we go out into the lobby. We wait there now until I'm about ready to apply for social security. Just as I'm getting the papers to do so, they call us over at the reception desk and let us know we can go visit her. I forget about the application process and go down with my aunt and father to see her.

She looks terrible. She's tired. Coughing like crazy and just about frantic. The hour and a half surgery she went through? She was awake. She only got a local anesthetic and they held her down with six people while they cut into her throat to put this tube in. I'm pretty sure she's tramautized at this point.

We visit, I cry. She cries. We leave.

I don't have the energy or the brain power to type anymore.

Will update tomorrow.

So my mom went into the hospital yesterday to have an emergency tube put into her trachea. Me, my father and my aunt were there all day. Earlier in the day, I had stopped at Mat's to give him his tax forms that I had in my bag. While I was there, he made it seem very apparent that he was just confused. That he wanted to be with me. That he loved me. He gave me my valentine's present. He flirted. He acted cute, interested again. He tried to get me into bed. I told him no, that he was confused and I didn't want to sleep with him only to find out we were broken up. I don't sleep with people that I'm not dating. He told me "I thought we were together" I said "You're confused, I don't want to do this if you're confused"


During the day I had sent him a message that my mother was in the hospital. Then that she came out of the surgery okay. No response to the last one. He never called me when he got off work. I go online this morning, go to his myspace. He logged on yesterday. Uploaded new photos and changed his relationship status to single.


So.


While I was in the fucking hospital with my mom. When I was at home waiting to hopefully get a phone call from the one person who's support I needed the most? He was on myspace updating his new status to single and putting in new pictures.

And he calls me the crazy one?


I consider the possibility that he got online really really earlier on the 15th to do that (like after he got off work), but he told me we were together later on that morning. And he still, never called me to find out what had been happening all day in full. And if you're dating someone for a year and a half and they're a big part of your life (like he said I was) you'd fucking call them the second you got off work.


PS: I'll put up a real post about my mom later today. I have to leave soon to go visit her. And that entry is going to be much more lengthy than this one. Plus I'm in tears and crying and I barely got this out properly.

For my valentine's day? My boyfriend sent my a 'Happy v day!' text message at 1:30 in the morning, rather than calling me hours before like he said he was going to. So romantic. I enthusiastically replied with "You too!" and left it at that.

Thank god I don't have to go up to the college today. Unfortunately I do have to work at the restaurant tonight, so I'm sure I'll see my share of happy, normal couples that will naturally make me more than annoyed at my own FUBAR situation. ;)

Oh, the relationship drama continues. Apparently I'm supposed to know exactly what question he wants me to ask. This is along with being his pseudo-mom and servant. Let me not forget that he totally talked to me like I was something he wiped off the bottom of his shoe last night. I love having the person I'm involved with talk to me with contempt. ;)

Thanks but no thanks. I'm hoping he doesn't call tonight. Or something. I don't know. I'm not sure I want to see him. I'm not ready to deal with whatever happens next. I have school and work and stuff and I just can't do this stupid crap anymore. Shit either needs to be fixed or I need to get to pick the pieces up and just move on.

School is good. Sort of. ;) I had my first clinical physiology test today. We were allowed to bring an index card to study off of and had ten short answer essays. One I had no idea on. A few I guessed at and the others I knew. Plus I know I nailed the extra credit. For once I'm actually feeling semi-positive about a first exam.

I saw Jeremy today for the first time in well over a year. That would make him like, the second friend I've even really seen in the longest time. I'm such recluse. You'd think that I lived in the mountains, in a cabin or something. I need to get out more. I heard from Dana the other day so hopefully pool will be in the works for this Friday. :D

From afar, Shanlee kills the idle message belatedly ;)

Long distance to Shanlee: A'son giggle.

From afar, Shanlee dies, "So manly!" XD

Long distance to Shanlee: A'son heees. XD

From afar, Shanlee grins and puts bows in A'son's hair ^^

Long distance to Shanlee: A'son bats puppydog eyes.

From afar, Shanlee auctions A'son off as Pern's answer to The Bachelor XD

Long distance to Shanlee: A'son dies. That would be hilarious. I wonder who would audition. XD

From afar, Shanlee tosses B'yan, N'thei, T'rev, A'zan.....aw heck, and I'daur too into the pot ;)

Long distance to Shanlee: A'son dies. As the bachelors or as the contestants? XD

Shanlee pages: Erm....the contestants would -be- the bachelors? Make Persie, Satiet, Shan, Amerie etc bid on them ^^

You paged Shanlee with 'But wait, are we thinking of the same bachelor show? This sounds more like Bachelor Auction. XD'.

From afar, Shanlee snickers, "You just want A'son surrounded by a gazillion adoring women and taking his pick of them in doing The Bachelor instead of Bachelor Auction." XD

You paged Shanlee with 'Well if A'son had a choice, he'd totally pick The Bachelor, not the Bachelor Auction. Seriously, how would he compete against I'daur? ;D'.

From afar, Shanlee dies, "By stealing his cane?"

Long distance to Shanlee: A'son DIES

You paged Shanlee with 'I have no words. XD'.

From afar, Shanlee scores!

Satiet pages: I didn't! I was mocking you and your CAPITAL LETTERS.
You paged Satiet with 'I will CAPITALIZE whatever I feel like. :D'.
Satiet pages: FINE!
Satiet pages: GEEZ!
You paged Satiet with 'GOOD!'.
You paged Satiet with 'DUDE!'.
Satiet pages: SRSLY WUT IZ UR PROB?
You paged Satiet with 'TALK 2 DUH HAND! KK?!'.
Satiet pages: IDK WUT IZUP WIT U BUT SRSLY. /IDIOT/!
Satiet pages: K, N00B!
You paged Satiet with 'WUT EVAH! WHO NEEDS U?!'.
Satiet pages: AHAHAHAHA. WUT EVAH IS SO LAST YR. WUT EV, N00B.
From afar, Satiet idles for lunch now. XD
You paged Satiet with 'BUH BYE!'.
You paged Satiet with 'Enjoy lunch. ;D'.

People seem to be getting grumpier and grumpier lately.


I blame it all on winter. ;)