Kelly

Haven't posted in forever. So here's a meme!

2009-10-18T04:21:05Z

Stole it from Kevin.

1. You must answer yes or no.
2. You may not explain unless someone asks you to.

Have you ever....

Taken a picture naked? Yes.
Made money illegally? No.
Had a one-night stand? No.
Been in a fistfight? No.
Slept with your best friend? No.
Had sex in a public place? Yes.
Ditched work to have sex? No.
Slept with a member of the same sex? No.
Seen someone die? Yes.
Run from the police? No.
Woke up somewhere and not remember how you got there? Yes.
Worn your partner's unmentionables? Yes.
Fallen asleep at work? No.
Used toys in the bedroom? Yes.
Run a red light? Yes.
Been fired? No.
Been in a car accident? Yes.
Pole danced or done a striptease? Yes.
Loved someone you shouldn't? Yes.
Sung karaoke? No.
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes.
Laughed so hard you peed your pants? No.
Caught someone having sex? No.
Kissed a perfect stranger? No.
Shaved your partner? Seconding Kevin, ew and no.
Given your private parts a nickname? No.
Gone in public without underwear? Yes.
Had sex on a rooftop? No.
Played chicken? No.
Mooned/flashed someone? No.
Slept naked? Yes.
Blacked out from drinking? Yes.
Felt like killing someone? Oh yeah.
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? Yes.
Been with someone because they were in a band? No.
Taken 10 shots of liquor in a day? No.
Shot a gun? No.
Gone outside naked? No.

My tattoo!

2009-04-26T20:08:30Z

So.

2009-04-14T06:00:37Z

I haven't posted anything in 37 weeks. According to LJ. But today is the most epically failing day of my entire life. So I'm going to post it.

Today is the day my knee gave out.

I live on Long Island. On the north shore are an array of little county parks. Today we went to West Meadow Beach. We had a fun walk all the way down, picking up shells, checking out little tide pools, harassing crabs. Excellent, perfect. Fantastic. On the way back we get into a little tiff, over nothing. We go separate ways, wander off and then wander back. We're both still being grumpy.

I notice that my shoes are not so well tied. I kneel down and tie my right shoe. Success! Then I switch kneeled legs and tie the other one. My left knee crunches and pops. Something that it's been doing for several weeks now. In fact, I've been having a lot of knee pain and went last week to the orthopedist. He suspected torn cartilage and ordered an MRI that they still haven't scheduled.

Getting back to the problem at hand. It crunches and pops. EXCRUCIATING PAIN ensues. I fall backwards and Sean rushes over, thankfully deciding the tiff is not as important as my obvious agony. I'm holding my knee and trying to pop it back into place. It... won't go? When it does go, it still feels weird. I end up scooting back and sitting on this rock. That's surrounded by cactus. I brace myself, but when I do? I PUT MY HAND INTO CACTUS PLANTS. Cactus on Long Island? Yeah, we've got. Awesome. My knee is screaming and my hand is full of spines.

After several minutes, I lean on Sean. I start trying to hop. Naturally, we're on a path that's like a quarter of a mile away from the car. Normally this would be okay, unfortunately this is not normal and this is totally NOT okay. There's a woman who lives at West Meadow Beach, apparently some sort of nature conservation person. And her job is to hang out and monitor everything. She sees as hopping along and comes over to help. She calls public safety and we end up waiting with her for half an hour.

During this half an hour I find out that I my hand into Long Island's ONLY native cactus. And that it bears a fruit that's edible during the summer. I decided and announced that I would be back in July. To eat the fruit of the cactus that attacked me. Eye for an eye, baby!

After half an hour, I say "I'm leaving." Get up and try to hop. Then Sean carries me. Then Sean and the conservation lady help me hop. Hop. Carry. Hop. Carry. Hop. We're like half-way there and a pair of joggers come by. All four people band together and carry me out of the park and down to the road. Circus, total circus. We thank these people over and over and Sean drives me in my car to the ER at St. Catherine's.

Which was a nightmare. Some of our friend's showed up to keep Sean company and my mom waited with me in the back. They tried to make me straighten my leg. Which I couldn't do until they pumped me with an anti-inflammatory shot and gave me pain meds. I got x-rays. Logged onto AIM through my phone and had Beth apologize to Holly for me for not showing up. I was tortured as they tried to straighten my legs some more.

Then they shoved my leg into a leg brace. And told me that I couldn't walk on my leg AT ALL. And I have to use crutches. And go to the orthopedist tomorrow and get the treatment of my leg sped up.

Awful. Awful. Awful.

mcherzog @ 2008-07-22T23:08:00

2008-07-23T03:08:07Z

SUNY schools suck. Thanks for letting me know the month before school starts that you're no longer approving my internship site and good luck finding another one this late! Thanks Suffolk. Needed the added stress. ;)

mcherzog @ 2008-07-07T00:58:00

2008-07-07T04:58:29Z

I'm pretty sure I got blown off and Kevin just reminded me I wanted chinese food and it's too late to get some. ;)

mcherzog @ 2008-07-07T00:31:00

2008-07-07T04:31:14Z

Hmmm!

If you make plans to make plans and you call the person and they don't call you back? Does that mean you got stood up? ;)

Birds!

2008-06-16T13:59:14Z

And I'm raising baby birds again! It's sparrows this time which isn't my first choice (the wild is not exactly lacking in the little buggers) as far as wild birds are concerned, but they're really freaking cute. First time in three years, so wish me luck! :) Pictures to come!

Long time, no update.

2008-06-16T04:56:46Z

Still alive. I've sort of been neglecting this thing. Life is up and down but mostly up lately. ;)

My mom had surgery on her throat on May 28th. They removed the lump on her vocal cord. It was basically just a cyst of some sort and filled with fluid, blood, etc... It got sent off for biopsy and wooo, no cancer. :) She's recuperated and in one piece.

I'd... give you guys more but I'm tired. ;)

Not typical.

2008-05-09T03:19:38Z

Note: If you are a rabid supporter of Sean Bell and think he was murdered and the cops should be hung, this likely isn't the post for you. ;)

Sean Bell was a thug. He had past convictions, past arrests. He didn't have his life in order, I don't care that he was getting married. He had a group of police officers assigned to shadow and follow his moves because he was known drug dealer and because they suspected he was now selling guns.

These police officers followed Mr. Bell into a strip club the night before his wedding. He got into an altercation with someone in the club and went outside, but before he went? He said "I'm going to get a gun" (or something like that, I'm not using exact qoutes here) And what did this signal to the cops assigned to follow Mr. Sean Bell? It signalled that they needed to follow him outside. It signalled that they needed to stop him, arrest him and search his vehicle. They had reasonable cause to.

They go outside, they identify themselves. They surround his vehicle. He hops into his car, makes a move like he's going for a gun and then proceeds to try and run the cops over with his fucking car .

The cops opened fire. Fifty shots? Overkill? Possibly.

Sean Bell is dead by the end.

Now people are crying "Racism, racism, you killed him because he was a black man, this wouldn't have happened if he was white

It didn't matter that he was black. It mattered that he had past convictions, that he was rumored to have drugs and guns that he was dealing. It mattered that he said "I'm going to get my GUNS" before going outside. It mattered that he was going to run those police officers over.

People say "They don't care that he has a family , a fiance , a future .

So those three police officers don't have a family? Those three men don't have girlfriends, wives? Children? Even just a dog that they go home to tonight? Do you really think that they they have future now within the NYPD? Proven innocent or not? No. They don't. Desk jobs. Put into weird, go no-where departments. They're futures are ka-pupt. They'll be forever known as the men who killed Sean Bell.

I'm tired of these men and the system being pulled apart in the news. By the people in the city. These men are heros. They stood in front of a car coming at them and they didn't run away. Did they shoot? Yeah. NYPD cops aren't trained to run away in the face of danger. They stay there and they kick ass, even if they might die. They had reasonable cause to believe he had guns. And he was trying to kill them first .

They system did their job. Sean Bell was a thug. He was not an asset to society, but a danger. But now he's a martyr. Funny how these things work.

This country is going to hell.

Oh, PS: One of the cops involved was black. Guess that trumps your whole racism theory. Huh?

The Opossum

2008-05-07T03:15:07Z

This is from March 2005, stolen from the jaeni journal when it used to be my personal one. It's funny, if kind of long.

Here you see a young Kelly Herzog involved in totally omgwtfness. ;)

So. Today a opossum tried to eat my face off. Okay, it was a little less dramatic than that. But you're hooked now, right?

Afterschool, Valeri, Laura and I were in Valeri's car, going to 7-11. Driving down my street, we pass this enclosed fenced in area that's across from the sump. I look out the window and see... a opossum impaled on a fence? Valeri turns the car around and we pull up to it again.

Many questions were asked: Is it dead ? Does it have rabies? Is it impaled on the fence? How did it get up there? Valeri, do you have a camera?

The solution to this of course is to call my mom up. We call her and she tells me to poke it with a stick. Poke. It. With. A. Stick. That it's probably just stuck up there and doesn't know how to get down. So I'm like: Fine. I'll poke it with a stick.

Laura and I get out of the car, because we're brave (note: sarcasm) and Valeri hid inside and watched us. Laura spots the stick we're going to use, as she's going to go get it, I pause and stare at this thing. I'm about three feet away, when it suddenly stands up and begins to snarl at me from its spot on the fence where it is apparently not impaled and not dead. I made a horrified noise, because it was damn scary. Laura is behind me, screaming. The oppossum is now getting ready to fly off the fence and eat me. We both run back into the car.

This is where we're supposed to make our speedy get away. Laura is shouting: GOGOGOGOGO!!! WHY ARE WE STILL HERE?!?! ... Why? Because Valeri is in a fit of laughter at our misfortune and terror, and at the fact that both of us now have premature grey hair.

Well... it might have been a regular day...
until..... WE WERE ALMOST KILLED BY AN OPOSSUM! AHHH!!!!!
So, school's over... Valeri and Kelly and I decide to take a ride. Maybe go to Sev's, maybe get some food at the White Castleee.....
But then we pass by an.... OPOSSUM IMPALED ON A CHAIN LINK FENCE.
But wait... was it really dead? So we turn around and go back.... pull over, and of course, take a picture with Valeri's phone.
WAIT HOLY SHIT, THAT OPOSSUM TURNED ITS HEAD TO LOOK AT ME! and it's balding! AHHH!!! What do we do? Call Kelly's mom! She says to poke it with a stick, maybe it's stuck, knock it off the fence. Mistake number 1 was Kelly and I getting out of the car. Valeri took the smart road and stayed put safely inside her metal cage. So we circle it... look for a stick, move in and suddenly.
HISSS!!!!! IT REARS BACK AND SNARLS LIKE CUJO. I swear to God, I have never seen an uglier face on an animal ever. So I scream "AHH!!!!! GET IN THE CAR!" and we do, but Valeri is laughing too hard to ......
"DRIVE, VALERI! WHY ARE WE STILL HERE?!"

That thing almost KILLED Kelly. She could have DIED. And I would have had to tell her mom that her daughter had been felled by a snarling, balding, rabid, obviously not nocturnal OPOSSUM.

So obviously, we have a new inside joke that we'll overuse but never get sick of.
But now I'm going, so watch out for angry marsupials. ;)

You'd think that was the end right? We'd drive off and that would be it? No. There's more to this story. We did in fact drive off and that was the last the three of us saw of the opossum. Not the same for my mom though!

She came rushing to the rescue only minutes after we left the scene because she was sure I'd poked the opossum and gotten bitten and had rabies.

When she gets there she finds that the poor creature is surrounded by: Three cop cars, an ambulance and three cops all with their guns drawn.

She comes running across the street with a box and told them to freeze. They were like: What are you doing here? And she points at our furry friend and says: I'm here for /him/.

They tell my mom that they're going to shoot the opossum because he's so clearly suffering. Meanwhile he's getting ready to launch off the fence again and eat someone. She tells them that he's got good color, forget /shooting/ him and that she'll be taking him to the animal hospital. XD They whip out the rabies poles and catch the tree next to the animal pretty good, but my mom has to rip away the branches to help them out. They finally got him into the box and she took him to Greco's.

He checked out clean, nothing wrong with him other than some scrapes and an eye infection. She said he had perfect teeth so he must have been a young guy too. Then they let him go.

vivaciousvalerii: LMFAO!
vivaciousvalerii: OMFG!
vivaciousvalerii: KELLYS MOM!
BrandoniaSparab: what?
vivaciousvalerii: SHE WENT THERE AND!
vivaciousvalerii: There were 3 cop cars animal control and an ambulance and they were going to shoot it!
BrandoniaSparab: oh my god.
vivaciousvalerii: LOL
vivaciousvalerii: so her mopm jumps out of her car and says "FREEZE!"
BrandoniaSparab: .....................................
vivaciousvalerii: It's just too funny
vivaciousvalerii: all in all she took it and it was fine!
BrandoniaSparab: are you SERIOUS?!
vivaciousvalerii: L:OL!
BrandoniaSparab: it's not at Kelly's house is it? It's at Greco's office, right?
vivaciousvalerii: they let it go
BrandoniaSparab: oh, thank god.
vivaciousvalerii: it had an eye infection that was it
BrandoniaSparab: WHAT?! IT HAD AN EYE INFECTION?!
vivaciousvalerii: she said that it probably got chassed there by a dog and then there was too much activty to not be scared to get down
BrandoniaSparab: Nah-uh. That thing was crazed. Eye infection doesn't begin to cover it.
BrandoniaSparab: wow... I can't believe that.
BrandoniaSparab: Where did they let it go?
vivaciousvalerii: behind grecios
BrandoniaSparab: My God. Kelly's mom is... like.... Xena.

**********************************************************************************

BrandoniaSparab: holy crap...
Jarkfwaaa88: OMG. I have the best story to tell you... EVER
BrandoniaSparab: Valeri told me!
Jarkfwaaa88: Oh, damn her!
BrandoniaSparab: Your mom is like Xena!
Jarkfwaaa88: vivaciousvalerii: BrandoniaSparab (9:22:04 PM): My God. Kelly's mom is... like.... Xena.
vivaciousvalerii (9:22:13 PM): LOL!
TheSunTsar: LOL
BrandoniaSparab: friggin' warrior princess, protecting all innocently rabid eye-infected opossums
Jarkfwaaa88: Apparently there was nothing wrong with it! They looked it all over, declared it healthy and set the bugger free!
BrandoniaSparab: That's so insane... and we were like "AAHHH!!!!! GET IN THE CARRR!!! IT'S RABID!!!"
Jarkfwaaa88: LOL!
Jarkfwaaa88: Yeah, and there were three cop cars there! And an ambulance!
BrandoniaSparab: They called out the whole brigade over this, apparently!
Jarkfwaaa88: Yeah, and all three had their guns drawn and we're going shoot it!
BrandoniaSparab: And your mom thwarted them and saved its life!
Jarkfwaaa88: Yeah! And at the end, one guy while putting his gun away said: This makes me happy. I didn't have to waste a bullet.
BrandoniaSparab: LOL
Jarkfwaaa88: Thank you Suffolk County PD for your overwhelming show of intelligence.
BrandoniaSparab: Is there no justice in the world for sick opossums?
Jarkfwaaa88: There is justice in the world.
Jarkfwaaa88: My mom is Oposssum Justice.
BrandoniaSparab: LOL
Jarkfwaaa88: My god. This whole tail will be funny for years to come.
Jarkfwaaa88: ...TALE!
BrandoniaSparab: hahahahahahaha
BrandoniaSparab: oh dear. too funny. Another chapter in the Misadventures of the Pope Clan
Jarkfwaaa88: The Pope Viglantes: Foiled by the Opossum, rescued by Justice.

Valeri doing the opossum:

The continuation of pointless fights with Mat.

2008-04-14T05:40:16Z

Who's the crazier one?

TheSunTsar: Yeah?
Auto response from matmo8464: lalala...i hate credit cards...lalala!!

ichigo is sleepin

Auto response from TheSunTsar: ROCK OF LOVE!

matmo8464: i have limited messages on my phone
matmo8464: and i can actually type fast on here
TheSunTsar: okay.
TheSunTsar: So.
matmo8464: so what?
TheSunTsar: What's going on?
matmo8464: u wanna keep draggin this out
TheSunTsar: You wanted to talk.
matmo8464: yes face to face
TheSunTsar: And I asked when we could talk later this week
TheSunTsar: and you said
TheSunTsar: comp
matmo8464: yes i was there
TheSunTsar: So?
matmo8464: so
matmo8464: i thought u would come over today
TheSunTsar: I'd rather come over on a day that I'm not going there at 1am
TheSunTsar: Considering i have class the next morning
matmo8464: well then idonno what to tell ya
matmo8464: u wanna drag it out
TheSunTsar: Is. There. A. Time. Later. In. The. Week.
TheSunTsar: You make these conversations harder than they have to be.
matmo8464: cause i was expecting to be able to talk to u a while ago
TheSunTsar: You work really late, I have school and work.
TheSunTsar: And I don't know when it's okay for me to even contact you anymore.
matmo8464: and?
TheSunTsar: And?
matmo8464: a.n.d.
TheSunTsar: And I figured we could talk on your day off after I got off of work
TheSunTsar: like I asked you before
TheSunTsar: I'm not trying to drag this out I was trying to figure out what's going on
TheSunTsar: Like I have been for over two weeks now
matmo8464: all the more reason to talk
TheSunTsar: ....I know.
matmo8464: not drag it on
TheSunTsar: And I've suggested a time and you won't agree or disagree to it
TheSunTsar: well?
matmo8464: what do u want from me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TheSunTsar: Jesus. Do you want to talk on your day off or not? How hard is it to answer that?
TheSunTsar: You're accusing me of dragging things out and you're dragging out a simple conversation
matmo8464: we cant even have a converstion anymore
TheSunTsar: You don't let me, you start off all conversations by accusing me of something.
TheSunTsar: I've been trying for two weeks to find out if you even love me or want to date me. And you won't tell me. Anything.
matmo8464: because i wanna talk
TheSunTsar: About what? You won't even agree to a day when we can talk.
matmo8464: about everything

Auto response from TheSunTsar: ROCK OF LOVE!

TheSunTsar: so when can we talk?
matmo8464: and u just wanna keep draggin it on
matmo8464: its makin me sick
TheSunTsar: ....Are you insane?
TheSunTsar: I'm trying to find a time during the week we can meet up
TheSunTsar: and you just keep rambling about me dragging it out
matmo8464: thanks
matmo8464: such an uplifting person
matmo8464: all i was trin to do was get u to come over to talk asap
matmo8464: so we might have a chance of workin things out
TheSunTsar: You aren't listening to anything I'm saying. I"m suggesting thursday because coming over really late during the week isn't going to work me with the conversation you want to have. It'll be long, dragged out and I'll be up superlate and I can't mess up with school right now.
TheSunTsar: And you are totally not answering me or trying to work me at all
TheSunTsar: and just repeating the same thing over and over
matmo8464: cause im just insane
TheSunTsar: because you're not trying to work with me
TheSunTsar: I'm asking "is thursday oaky?" and you're like "you're making me sick"
TheSunTsar: it's a yes or no answer, that's when I can go out there
matmo8464: nah i have plans
TheSunTsar: Are you serious?
TheSunTsar: You dragged this whole conversation out after accusing me of dragging things out only to tell me you have plans after all of this?
matmo8464: thursday is when i go out
TheSunTsar: But I'm supposed to drop everything and come over there at 1am when you can't put off these perhaps imaginaary plans until friday?
matmo8464: sometimes wednesdays too
TheSunTsar: but it was okay last thursday when YOU wanted to talk
matmo8464: cause i cancelled
TheSunTsar: Uh huh.
TheSunTsar: And it's impossible to cancel this week when you KNOW we have a real opportunity to talk?
matmo8464: I Cancelled
TheSunTsar: I didn't make you cancel last week. I told you right away that I couldn't come.
TheSunTsar: I'm trying to make plans with you practically a week ahead of time now.
TheSunTsar: Do you have a secreatary I can contact?
matmo8464: its like 3 days
TheSunTsar: ...yeah? that's not in advance enough for you?
TheSunTsar: You are the one dragging this out.
TheSunTsar: This is all a game to you.
matmo8464: i might just get myself a secretary by the time
TheSunTsar: yeah, I'm sure.
TheSunTsar: I don't know what to say to you.
TheSunTsar: You just want to fuck with me. You tell me I'm suffocating you, I give you space, now you accuse me of dragging things out and making you sick?
matmo8464: its all makin me sick
TheSunTsar: I've been sick for two weeks now, but that's not a concern for you. I'm asking to make plants to talk now and all you want to do is fling shit again.
matmo8464: cause im not changin my plans

Auto response from TheSunTsar: ROCK OF LOVE!

matmo8464: again
matmo8464: when u didnt
TheSunTsar: I told you right away that I /couldn't/
TheSunTsar: I'm telling you now ahead of time that I can see you on your days off
matmo8464: well i told u right away i could
TheSunTsar: ...at a totally random time the day of
TheSunTsar: And now I'm trying to make plans with you
matmo8464: when i have plans
TheSunTsar: So who's trying to drag it out now?
TheSunTsar: You.
TheSunTsar: You're dragging out a simple conversation about when we can talk. When are you actually free, dude.
matmo8464: "Tonight was fun, I'm gonna pass out now.

*plop*"
matmo8464: takin things hard huh?
TheSunTsar: I'm glad you took the time to search for that in order to make a passive aggressive response.
matmo8464: im just glad ur not torn up
matmo8464: guess i should have "fun nights" too
TheSunTsar: You're manipulative. You're playing games and you're doing it right now. I've spent my whole evening crying, and if you missed it that was sarcasm in the other comment.
TheSunTsar: I got to cry during work, after work, now.
TheSunTsar: Last night when I read your cute little message about throwing my stuff out
TheSunTsar: the night before
TheSunTsar: the other
TheSunTsar: night
TheSunTsar: the pass two weeks
TheSunTsar: You have become mean spirited and just... I don't know. You're not the same person anymore. You had the time to hunt down that comment but not the time to tell me if you had other time this week to hang out and talk.
matmo8464: apparently now ur fine though
TheSunTsar: ....Not.
TheSunTsar: Where do you even get that from?
matmo8464: ur page
TheSunTsar: What page?
matmo8464: ur page
TheSunTsar: what page?
TheSunTsar: myspace? because I dont' remember saying I'm fine on that.
matmo8464: ur myspace page
matmo8464: nah ur havin fun nites
TheSunTsar: Oh are you fucking kidding me?
TheSunTsar: Yeah, I hung out with my friend.
TheSunTsar: one of my best friends
TheSunTsar: SINCE I WAS TWELVE
TheSunTsar: Apparently you have fun nights on wednesdays and thursdays
TheSunTsar: good one. You really caught me. I hung out with my friend of many many years.
matmo8464: yea
matmo8464: guess so
TheSunTsar: I don't know what to tell you. I didn't do anything wrong other than hang out with my friend. Which you're apparently allowed to do.
TheSunTsar: Throw the dog bag out if you want. I think you've pretty much come to your own conclusions about what you want to do.

mcherzog @ 2008-03-12T10:25:00

2008-03-12T14:29:50Z

I'm stuck here all day again. I don't have class until 2. I guess I should go study, I have some sort of a quiz in vet practice again. On... who knows what?

I dyed my hair red last night. I'm pretty much convinced that it turned out terrible. On the one hand, that sucks. On the other? It's only temporary color, and it should wash out fairly soon. So it's not exactly a big deal. I am sort of proud of myself. I don't really feel disappointed? And I don't feel OMG MY HAIR LOOKS HORRIBLE. I'm not all nervous about it. Occasionally I do think "God. This hair looks bad." as I wander around but that's really about it.

I'm really more concerned with how hungry I am.

And how bored I am.

I guess I'm going to go eat now. Or something. ;)

I'm going to spend hours in the cafeteria now, I do have my phone on me. It is charged. If someone (PSST GRETA) wants to call me so I can *facepalm* over the phone about something I saw on my monitor when I got up at 7am today. They can. XD

Woo.

2008-03-05T15:21:47Z

I have one hour until I have to be over at Pamonack. Poomaneick. Pamasomething to do yet another part of the impromed project for vet tec management. Lets say that takes me an hour? I still have from twelve until two. I'm not going to drive back to Centereach, waste the gas and then drive back to Brentwood again. So instead I'm going to wander around campus for hours until I have clinical physiology.

This blows, I hate wednesdays. Not to mention I think I'm going to be sleepy the entire time through clinical physiology and then I have that horrible vet management class. Last week I had Legends loaded up, which I played everytime he launched into yet another story that had NOTHING TO DO with what we were learning about. Which we won't be tested on. Which has no relevence. And which was occuring just about every five minutes. Needless to say I completed an entire dungeon while I was hoping and praying for anything to make that class end.

I also got down a lot of notes. So I guess that makes me multi-tasker extradonaire. Is that how you spell that? Crap, I really can't spell today.

I still can't get my laptop to jive with the wireless network. I tried re-registering today and hopefully that'll do the trick. But who knows, right? It's not like it's a really complicated process, but somehow I can't seem to make it work.

I don't know if I should go to the library after this thing at eleven, or crash in the cafeteria. Maybe I'll study. Or eat. Or something. The cafeteria might be better, because I could eat /and/ study. But I probably won't because instead of studying my work I end up doing character studies of the people in room.

Like there's this one guy, he's sort of on the small side. He has super slicked back hair, an oversized leather jacket and gangster-y pants. He is always in there. Always. Like, no matter what time or day I go? That guy is in there. Talking with his homies. Flirting with girls. Buying random bits of food and going on and on loudly about how he cut class and how 'There ain't no fucking way they can make me go'

.............

First of all, stop wearing oversized leather jackets. Second, lose the crazy slicked back hair and third, get some pants that fit. Stop cursing like a freaking pirate and dude, GO TO CLASS. You pay to be here, this isn't high school. I don't get how this mentality works. You /pay/ money to be here and then /don't/ go to class because you're... rebelling? Wtf? You think that's going to attract you a decent girlfriend?

Though maybe that's not what he's interested in. Because we live in a society where most people don't care about their partner beyond initial physical attraction. Who cares about their credit? Who cares about whether they can handle their money? Who cares whether they have an education? A or even a job? Who cares whether they have class, some sort of sense of style, self, and god knows how many other little things that make up a well rounded person? The answer? Not a lot people, unfortunately.

And I'm pretty much convinced that's what leads to the significant amount of young people who end up divorcing. Everyone likes the idea of romantic love, and love triumphs over all. And maybe it can. But it can't if you're the responsible one and your partner is a total putz. The love isn't going to be dinner in your stomach.

Lets not even get into trust, cheating and all the lies people tell the people they supposedly love. I have a laundry list of complaints there. XD

This is getting to be way too long and thoughtful.

Moving on.

She's been out of the hospital for about a week now. They took the tube out and basically she's got a month or two for the hole to granulate back in. She's wearing a patch over it and her voice is still fairly wheezy. Unfortunately there's still a cyst in her throat and the doctor isn't sure what it's doing there. Hopefully it's going to resolve on it's own and they won't have to lance it and drain the fluid.

With all the crap that's been going on in mind, I've been trying to spend more time with her. We've been running errands together on Saturdays and grabbing something to eat. I enjoyed it and I do like spending time with my mom. So hopefully we're going to keep this up and not let it just sort of... fall to slide. We're both a little lazy that way. ;)

He knocks on the door to my room the other night. "KELLY KELLY KELLY"

To which I'm bascially like, 'wtf?' I answer the door and he looks at me, all bleary-eyed and asks.

"Are you in here drinking alone?"

.....

.....

0.o

I tell him that I'm studying for my farm test tomorrow and he's just like "...You know it's a bad sign if you're drinking alone."

I stare at him. I look behind me and around the room. "Well as you can see, no bottles of booze. Night." And then I closed the door.

What the hell was that about? 0.o

I don't know how much more of this computer lap I can take. I need to get out of here. If anyone needs me I'll be sitting in the cafeteria, attempting to study and eating. And probably falling asleep in place. I'll be the disheveled, tired looking girl still wearing PJs.

Bye.

And oh yeah, I don't get out of this place until five. I have to do laundry. And online things. And... And... Yeah.

...

And I'm getting new glasses in three days!

My mom.

2008-02-17T03:15:08Z

Friday at about 1:30 in the morning my dad came to my room and told me that we were leaving, because we had to take my mom to the emergency room. I was in the middle of another agonizing conversations with Mat. I tell him 'I'm leaving. My mom has to go to the hospital, bye.' - I'd elaborate on what he said in response, but that would just further enrage me on that subject.

We get to the hospital, wait, wait. Finally get into the ER so that the guy will actually look at her. The ER doctor is a douchebag, to say the least. He doesn't think that there's anything wrong with the fact that my mom can't swallow correctly. Can't drink water, can't drink the PAIN MEDICATION that he gave her. He just hands over the discharge papers and is like 'kthanxforvisitingbye'.

I'm stressed about my mom, I am stressed about my situation with Mat. This type of apathetic atttidue from someone who's supposed to care about people and help them? Sets me off. To people on here who aren't personally familiar with me in real life? I do not just run around screaming at people I don't know. I have to be beyond upset and beyond frustrated to lose my temper like I did that night. I yell at the guy, I yell at the nurse. The doctor storms off and the nurse follows him. She returns with further instructions and an 80 year old hospital security guard. My mom is disscharged and we go home.

We arrive back at around 3:30am, 4:00am. I send Mat a message about what happened. I go to sleep. I wake up at 7:00am. Get into my car and drive to class. After my classes end I go over to Mat's and drop off his tax papers. He acts like we're probably going to be okay. I leave, feeling all optimistic and head home.

While I'm getting ready to get onto the service road of the LIE, the guy in the car next to me makes me roll my window down. He informs me that my back, passenger tire is SUPER low. I say thanks and pull into the mobil station down the road. My tire is in fact, SUPER low. I have never used an airpump machine in my life. I read the instructions, I figure out usage. I inflate my tire back up without exploding it. I drive home.

I get back into the house and tell Greta all about what happened after we got off the phone last night. Then I end up collasping on the bed in a heap. I wake up 20 minutes before work, put the volume back up on my phone, set the alarm and fall asleep again. Three minutes into that I get a text message from my dad "Call me". I think he's just responding to when I called him earlier, while I was at the gas station and trying to figure the pump out. I again, fall asleep. I wake up when the alarm goes off seven minutes later.

This time I call my dad. He tells me that he's in the emergency room with my mom again. They had gone to the doctors at 8:00 am who had immediately gotten them an appointment with an ENT. The ENT looked down there with a nasal scope (???) and set her vocal cords and throat area in general were so swollen that they were afraid it was gone to swell shut and risk her breathing airways. Basically, that it might swell up to the point where she would die. So they were going to take her in the emergency room and put a tube through her trachea in order to establish a breathing passage.

I jump up out of bed. Of course, tell Greta what happened. And immediately inform that I will kill the ER doctor if I see him while I'm there.

I put on my shoes, while doing that inform work that I will NOT be coming in. They understand, hurry me off the phone and I in turn, hurry off to my car. As I'm running to the car I'm texting Mat to tell him what's going on. And 'God help that doctor if I see him again'.

Seriously. Anyone would feel the rage I felt if they realized their mom could have fucking died in the night because that guy was just like "Whatever!" And sent her home. You know? Though I'm sure Mat saw it as further sign of the dementia he's convinced himself I have.

Okay. My writing and concentration skills are totally escaping me. This rest might come out awkward. I got a lot of sleep when we finally got home last night but I still feel exhausted. I obviously did not play pool with Dana last night either. I still need to call her and tell her what happened.

Anyway.

I drive like a maniac through Centereach and then through Smithtown all the way up until I get to St. Catherine's hospital. I go into the ER, they tell me what bed she's in. Surprise! No one is there. I stare at the girl at the desk, looking like I'm ready to just burst into tears. And I seriously am. She tells me that they must have just taken her into the OR. She brings me down there, opens the door to the OR lobby. Look! There's my dad! I just missed my mom by two minutes.

So then we wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

...

...
...
....
.....
......

And wait some more. Then my aunt shows up, she's a nurse in the ER. When her friend saw my mom and dad come in she called her. So now we do some more waiting! Finally after fourteen years, the surgeon comes out. He tells that the swelling was really, really bad. But she's doing well. That she's very anxious and now they're sending her into the recovery unit. He's hoping that it's just a really bad infection and he's thinking that it's most likely not a tumor.

Thank god, something good at least. Not a tumor. I almost typed rumor.

I apologize, I'm sure this thing is FULL with typos and misspellings.

Anyway, he leaves and we go out into the lobby. We wait there now until I'm about ready to apply for social security. Just as I'm getting the papers to do so, they call us over at the reception desk and let us know we can go visit her. I forget about the application process and go down with my aunt and father to see her.

She looks terrible. She's tired. Coughing like crazy and just about frantic. The hour and a half surgery she went through? She was awake. She only got a local anesthetic and they held her down with six people while they cut into her throat to put this tube in. I'm pretty sure she's tramautized at this point.

We visit, I cry. She cries. We leave.

I don't have the energy or the brain power to type anymore.

Will update tomorrow.

The end of dating Mat.

2008-02-16T15:57:18Z

So my mom went into the hospital yesterday to have an emergency tube put into her trachea. Me, my father and my aunt were there all day. Earlier in the day, I had stopped at Mat's to give him his tax forms that I had in my bag. While I was there, he made it seem very apparent that he was just confused. That he wanted to be with me. That he loved me. He gave me my valentine's present. He flirted. He acted cute, interested again. He tried to get me into bed. I told him no, that he was confused and I didn't want to sleep with him only to find out we were broken up. I don't sleep with people that I'm not dating. He told me "I thought we were together" I said "You're confused, I don't want to do this if you're confused"

During the day I had sent him a message that my mother was in the hospital. Then that she came out of the surgery okay. No response to the last one. He never called me when he got off work. I go online this morning, go to his myspace. He logged on yesterday. Uploaded new photos and changed his relationship status to single.

So.

While I was in the fucking hospital with my mom. When I was at home waiting to hopefully get a phone call from the one person who's support I needed the most? He was on myspace updating his new status to single and putting in new pictures.

And he calls me the crazy one?

I consider the possibility that he got online really really earlier on the 15th to do that (like after he got off work), but he told me we were together later on that morning. And he still, never called me to find out what had been happening all day in full. And if you're dating someone for a year and a half and they're a big part of your life (like he said I was) you'd fucking call them the second you got off work.

PS: I'll put up a real post about my mom later today. I have to leave soon to go visit her. And that entry is going to be much more lengthy than this one. Plus I'm in tears and crying and I barely got this out properly.

mcherzog @ 2008-02-14T21:49:00

2008-02-15T02:55:38Z

Why did you have to come to my job?

Tonight has been the busiest night we've had all winter and that includes the last minute christmas shoppers. There were 245 orders, which might not seem like a lot but was when you consider 145 of them occurred in the span of three hours. Can we say line to the door? Phone ringing off the hook? You bet.

I was going to write an actual entry. But I could hardly just figure out whether to use write/right when I wrote the last sentence. So I think I'll spare everyone.

Exhausted. ;)

Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T14:24:50Z

For my valentine's day? My boyfriend sent my a 'Happy v day!' text message at 1:30 in the morning, rather than calling me hours before like he said he was going to. So romantic. I enthusiastically replied with "You too!" and left it at that.

Thank god I don't have to go up to the college today. Unfortunately I do have to work at the restaurant tonight, so I'm sure I'll see my share of happy, normal couples that will naturally make me more than annoyed at my own FUBAR situation. ;)

mcherzog @ 2008-02-13T22:26:00

2008-02-14T03:41:22Z

Oh, the relationship drama continues. Apparently I'm supposed to know exactly what question he wants me to ask. This is along with being his pseudo-mom and servant. Let me not forget that he totally talked to me like I was something he wiped off the bottom of his shoe last night. I love having the person I'm involved with talk to me with contempt. ;)

Thanks but no thanks. I'm hoping he doesn't call tonight. Or something. I don't know. I'm not sure I want to see him. I'm not ready to deal with whatever happens next. I have school and work and stuff and I just can't do this stupid crap anymore. Shit either needs to be fixed or I need to get to pick the pieces up and just move on.

School is good. Sort of. ;) I had my first clinical physiology test today. We were allowed to bring an index card to study off of and had ten short answer essays. One I had no idea on. A few I guessed at and the others I knew. Plus I know I nailed the extra credit. For once I'm actually feeling semi-positive about a first exam.

I saw Jeremy today for the first time in well over a year. That would make him like, the second friend I've even really seen in the longest time. I'm such recluse. You'd think that I lived in the mountains, in a cabin or something. I need to get out more. I heard from Dana the other day so hopefully pool will be in the works for this Friday. :D

More funny stuff from today.

2008-02-09T01:06:44Z

From afar, Shanlee kills the idle message belatedly ;)

Long distance to Shanlee: A'son giggle.

From afar, Shanlee dies, "So manly!" XD

Long distance to Shanlee: A'son heees. XD

From afar, Shanlee grins and puts bows in A'son's hair ^^

Long distance to Shanlee: A'son bats puppydog eyes.

From afar, Shanlee auctions A'son off as Pern's answer to The Bachelor XD

Long distance to Shanlee: A'son dies. That would be hilarious. I wonder who would audition. XD

From afar, Shanlee tosses B'yan, N'thei, T'rev, A'zan.....aw heck, and I'daur too into the pot ;)

Long distance to Shanlee: A'son dies. As the bachelors or as the contestants? XD

Shanlee pages: Erm....the contestants would -be- the bachelors? Make Persie, Satiet, Shan, Amerie etc bid on them ^^

You paged Shanlee with 'But wait, are we thinking of the same bachelor show? This sounds more like Bachelor Auction. XD'.

From afar, Shanlee snickers, "You just want A'son surrounded by a gazillion adoring women and taking his pick of them in doing The Bachelor instead of Bachelor Auction." XD

You paged Shanlee with 'Well if A'son had a choice, he'd totally pick The Bachelor, not the Bachelor Auction. Seriously, how would he compete against I'daur? ;D'.

From afar, Shanlee dies, "By stealing his cane?"

Long distance to Shanlee: A'son DIES

You paged Shanlee with 'I have no words. XD'.

From afar, Shanlee scores!

STARE!

2008-02-08T19:36:08Z

Satiet pages: I didn't! I was mocking you and your CAPITAL LETTERS.
You paged Satiet with 'I will CAPITALIZE whatever I feel like. :D'.
Satiet pages: FINE!
Satiet pages: GEEZ!
You paged Satiet with 'GOOD!'.
You paged Satiet with 'DUDE!'.
Satiet pages: SRSLY WUT IZ UR PROB?
You paged Satiet with 'TALK 2 DUH HAND! KK?!'.
Satiet pages: IDK WUT IZUP WIT U BUT SRSLY. /IDIOT/!
Satiet pages: K, N00B!
You paged Satiet with 'WUT EVAH! WHO NEEDS U?!'.
Satiet pages: AHAHAHAHA. WUT EVAH IS SO LAST YR. WUT EV, N00B.
From afar, Satiet idles for lunch now. XD
You paged Satiet with 'BUH BYE!'.
You paged Satiet with 'Enjoy lunch. ;D'.

Woo.

2008-02-07T02:05:05Z

People seem to be getting grumpier and grumpier lately.

I blame it all on winter. ;)

NARNIA

2008-02-05T17:59:14Z

I just saw the trailer.

Excited. So much. XD

mcherzog @ 2008-02-04T00:04:00

2008-02-04T05:05:29Z

PS! I had freaking wind burn on my face the other day. Why? Because I got stuck outside pumping gas into the buick FOREVER while it was freezing cold and there was driving rain with crazy wind.

!!!!

Life!

2008-02-03T19:59:10Z

Well, the drama that was my life settled itself down over the past couple of days. Mat got stuck at work for way way way longer than he intended to on Thursday evening and asked me to go there and take care of the kitten for him. I ended up staying there for a few hours with the cat until he got home, where we had a long talk about everything. About spending time apart, about getting our own lives in order. If that meant breaking up or staying together and "weathering" it to see if it was worth it. Ultimately I was just like "If you're not going to trust me with anything, than I'm not going to stay in this relationship. I won't. As much as I care about you, it'll be way worse to stay here with you not trusting me than it would be to just cut my losses and leave."

And I guess me having some sort of a spine and being like "no." wasn't what he expected. I stayed over, I went there Friday night and Saturday we were at his parents all day. It's been a really nice weekend so far and he's been fantastic. I guess it was a bad misunderstanding on both of our parts. I think we've been expecting too much out of each other for various reasons.

The internet finally was straightened out as his house, and at my house, and in theory I'm going to have internet at school. So I'm not going to be stranded and bored at the campus for hours.

PS Thanks to everyone who gave me advice, thoughts, comfort while I was melting down. I really appreciate it. You guys are great. :)

mcherzog @ 2008-01-31T15:59:00

2008-01-31T21:07:36Z

I haven't seen him now in two days and I really still feel like total crap. I've stopped with the spontaneous tears of 'OMG MY LIFE IS OVER I GOT DUMPED'. Now I just feel this swirling anxiety in my stomach sometimes. Mostly when I'm not occupied enough. I don't even know if I have been dumped, to tell you the truth. I just got 'I need space' message. He took all of our 'couple'esque photos down off of myspace. ...and replaced them with pictures of his cat.

I guess that should really tell me everything.

Then last night he starts randomly sending me text messages. Transcribed:

Mat: I never gave you that game.

Me: Yeah?

Mat: Why the ?

Me: I was just wondering why you brought it up.

Mat: Cause I thought of it.

Me: We'll play it sometime.

Mat: I know you don't have internet that's why I wanted to give it to you.

Me: We got it back today. But thanks. I have class in the morning and I need to get some sleep. Love you a lot. Good night.

Mat: Glad you can do your gaming.

Mat: I almost invited you over. Cause I though you were unable to roleplay.

Me: I want to come over, but not for roleplay or computers or games. To see you.

Mat: You have mail from my parents.

Me: I can come pick it up whenever you want.

Mat: I want to open it!

Me: No way!

Mat: Oh yes I will.

Me: Noooo. I wanna. :(

And then radio silence.

What the fuck. The guy who didn't want me to open my laptop when he was around, or roleplay or talk to people on the phone or on AIM. Is suddenly so concerned with my ability to roleplay that he almost invited me over even though he needs space. And nice dodge on his part where he avoided my response to him.

I just wish that he if he didn't want to date me that he'd just stop fucking talking to me. Because I really can't handle it.

I should have never told him that I wanted to see him at all. I should have told him to leave me alone at the first text message.